Summary/Highlights

• Talking to your children about drugs, it’s never too soon or too late – guest speaker, Peter Alward of Charter North – detailed notes p.3

• Dale – Teachers started using turnitin.com, a program that identifies the percentage of exact text used from various sources.  This helps students find their voice and understand and avoid plagiarism.

• Intensives will be right before spring break, with the schedule to come out Nov. 28 and kids sign up second week of January during advisory group.  Students need to switch intensives so they do not take the same one 2 years in a row and teachers cannot repeat as well.  If more names than spots, a lottery is done via a drawing.

• Yea haw!!!  We made $12,152.48 this year, while last year we made $7,000.  There was a sincere round of congratulations to auction committee leaders, Wendy, Rebecca, Rebecca, and Rochelle.

• The group discussed some of the funding categories and the process.  Looking at the intensives category, for instance, there are scholarships for the intensives process, only through financial need.

• Rebecca clarified that Parent Group funds collected via annual donations and e-Script, etc. are a separate category of funds used to finance things such as special projects, staff educational opportunities and other funding requests.

• There was also a discussion on the information flow, within Steller, for proposals and actions.  With staff and the student Op Group meeting weekly, and Parent Group and Ad Board meeting monthly, it would be best for Parent Group to meet the week before Ad Board.  The calendar for next semester’s PG meetings will be revised to have meetings be the week before Ad Board.

Talking to your children about drugs, it’s never too soon or too late –

Special Presentation – Following up on Red Ribbon Week and last month’s discussion on drug and alcohol use and clarification of ASD consequences, guest speaker, Peter Alward of Charter North, spoke about how to best approach this issue with children grades 7-12.  He was a dynamic and informative speaker and we are considering having Peter back to speak at a community café.  Because he provided such a wealth of information, the key points to his presentation are provided at the end of these notes starting on page 3.

Reports

Dale:

• Teachers started using turnitin.com, a program that identifies the percentage of exact text used from various sources.  This helps students find their voice and understand and avoid plagiarism.  Also it promotes more punctuation, grammar, and spelling, which is one of the school’s Student Achievement Plan goals this year.
• Dale also participated in Executive Exchange (with the head of People Mover) along with a student on two meetings talking about how they do business.
• Books

1. One science class needs 10 physical science books
2. Also making progress on having folks turn books back in that may be at home

• A gym offered us used exercise equipment, which will be sold on Craig’s List and added to the auction pot
• Thanks to those who participated in and planned the auction.
• Dale has come up with the idea of a “Community Action Board” and ran it by Alyse and Joe earlier in the week

Leigh Ann

• Thanks to parent group for auction, it was a great support.
• Registration for 2^nd semester will be December 2, classes are done and soon the schedule will be posted on the Flash.
• Intensives will be right before spring break, with the schedule to come out Nov. 28 and kids sign up second week of January during advisory group.
• The goal is to have four viable trips for next year (2 during each intensive).
• Students need to switch intensives so they do not take the same one 2 years in a row and teachers cannot repeat as well.  If more names than spots, a lottery is done via a drawing.
• There will be a waitlist if students do not get first choice.

Op group

• Beau Romine wants to finish his senior project of building furniture for the student lounge, as he left for a six-month construction job.

Auction

Yea haw!!!  We made $12,152.48 this year, while last year we made $7,000.  There was a sincere round of congratulations to auction committee leaders, Wendy, Rebecca, Rebecca, and Rochelle.  They were also thanked for coming up with a how-to manual for future auctions – a feat all by itself, let along it being developed in the midst of organizing an auction.  Special thanks also to the 9^th grade class and their class advisors Leigh Anne and Philip.

Business donation were amazing, incredible job with follow up, great entertainment – Wayne was an awesome auctioneer, etc. Final numbers coming soon.  Parent Group Budget at next meeting.

Ad Board will now recommend where funds will be spent.  Rebecca said be ready to make proposals for that process, as last year we changed the funding process to have Ad Board decide allocations to various categories.

ALYSE – PLEASE HELP MAKE THE FOLLOWING AS CLEAR AS CAN BE:

The group discussed some of the funding categories and the process.  Looking at the intensives category, for instance, there are scholarships for the intensives process, only through financial need.  But, this was adjusted last year to provide support for “in-town” intensives, not just travel intensives.   The discussion also covered how and where funds go because the changes of over the past few years had made things a little confusing.  About three of four years ago auction funds began to go directly to Parent Group for distribution (as they took over the auction) after previously being distributed by administration.  Then last year the allocation process moved to Ad Board having it advise on how to put spend the auction funds.  Parent Group then writes check(s) to Steller administration for the various accounts.

So, the process, as clarified by the discussion with the parents and staff present, is that auction funds come into the parent group account with the relative allocation to various categories being decided by Ad Board.  These funds are then transferred to the various categories i.e. Intensives, Planet Steller/Garden Club where they are dispersed and accounted for by Steller administrative staff.   Dale expressed his interest in seeing that the process be as transparent as possible and that he’d work to get at least a year-end accounting for each category and club.

Rebecca clarified that Parent Group funds collected via annual donations and e-Script, etc. are a separate category of funds used to finance things such as special projects, staff educational opportunities and other funding requests. Also, fyi, Ad Board decided last year to make a $350 fund to be used to at its discretion.

Rebecca will draft a Flash notice, describing the steps of the funding processes and how requests are made for both. Proposals will be read if you need to send in but being there to represent and follow up. Dale and Rebecca will work on budget, knowing where we have pockets of money already.

In the January timeframe, Ad Board will develop a process for determining how to spend money.

Auction: Proposal that there is always two key volunteer slots advertised as we move forward toward next year’s auction.  This recognizes the multi-year time commitment of the current auction committee and the need for fresh participation to give some of these folks a break.

There was also a discussion on the information flow, within Steller, for proposals and actions.  With staff and the student Op Group meeting weekly, and Parent Group and Ad Board meeting monthly, it would be best for Parent Group to meet the week before Ad Board.  The calendar for next semester’s PG meetings will be revised to have meetings be the week before Ad Board so that issues can more easily moved through all groups to Ad Board and finalized in a timely manner.

Alyse and Joe introduced the idea of having a community café/dessert for new families to welcome them/check in with them and see what we can do to help them along in Steller.  All families are welcome of course, because existing families have experience to share with the new ones!

Coming Events

New Families Community Caf̩ Dessert Caf̩ РDec. 7 (7:30 to 9 PM)

Next Parent Group Meeting Wed. Dec. 14 @ 6 PM.

Next Ad Board Meeting Th. Dec. 8 @ 6:30 PM

Winter Concert – Steller Band, Choir, and Orchestra Tue. Dec. 6 – 2:30 to 3:30 PM

———————————————————————————–

Talking to your children about drugs, it’s never too soon or too late –

Special Presentation – guest speaker, Peter Alward of Charter North.

Society is awash with drugs and alcohol.  TV, the web, magazines, catalogs, stores, …

• As a society, we have tried many different things (programs, wars, etc).  None have really been very successful.
• At times society used to glorify the age of drugs.  Now more and more we see real medical affects, starting as early as in-utero.  It is this type of exposure now – who he works with.
• We all have to do more.  And there’s no miracle cure.  We have to fix one family, person at a time.

Society and most of us individually are in a state of denial.

• How do we help students who haven’t yet been exposed but will be soon exposed?  Well, we have to start by having it be part of our everyday  conversations.  Not just the big “we have to talk,” but maybe during the drive to school or over a meal.  And, we need to keep talking. Family time (dinner together) any time dedicated to talk is fine for it.  Recognize that it is right to intentionally talk about the subject, despite the challenges that we are so busy in life, we need to dedicate time for being together without distractions.

• The part of brain that develops mood, actions is happening in 10-15 year olds and parents are role models (even more than we think).  Dedicated family time together shows interest and commitment to our children.  There are many things we can do to demonstrate that commitment – dedicate the time, play games, find common activities, talk during driving time, diversional recreation (PLAY), etc.  These are all important and part of healthy relationships,

Show Clear Values

• Give and take in discussions is okay, it is also okay to say “family first,” to draw the line and give direction about the child role in the family, and that computer games, or time at friends is not always the priority – it is okay to have values, just be explicit, consistent, and explain why.

What to do when you know one child may not experiment but know that soon, down the road another will?

• A primary goal is to be sure experimentation does not become active use.  Be careful about explaining parent use of drugs (children may hear and infer something that you did not intend, ~ it must be OK , dad did it…).  Be very clear, this is what I don’t want you to get from this.  Do not only talk once, keep up the conversation – show your commitment.  If you are a forbidding type, they are likely to do it anyway, so have open discussions about what is ok and what is not ok.

• A primary goal should be for your child to BE HONEST about their actions, regardless of whether you approve or not. Your child will not tell you if they think they will get in trouble and not be safe in telling the truth.  As a parent you should explain the consequences will be less (but there will still be some) if your child is honest and lets you know.

Parents who are persistent when there is use, i.e., constantly saying we love you and this is not ok, repeatedly help end use.   This will help the actions to not become habitual.

• There are signs to look for in a habitual user:

Change in function/actions/habits

Change in friends (users look for friends who enable or allow)

Change in grades

Change in self-care

It is natural with the growth and maturing that teens go through that they will change interest, but an abrupt change is what to be aware of.

Preteen are much more vulnerable to addiction, their brain is more ripe for it just due to its developmental stage.  There are also alterations in sensorium, users are less likely to concentrate, complete work, etc.  This is something that teachers may see.

When you see signs – talk to your child.

• Your child may lie, but keep asking.  Safety comes first.  A parent should take an active role as “chief safety officer” in the family.  In the real world, if someone is not safe on the job a safety officer can step in check their desk, their personal property, their vehicle, etc. for drugs.  And a parent can and should go into a bedroom – its keeping your child safe.

Ask your child to role play: Ask them ~ what do think will happen when…

• There might be drugs at a party

There is something happening in an automobile (driving under the influence)

Give pathways to save face (offer that student calls when in trouble)

Don’t rely on just one method (contracts, pre-conversation,

Set example as parents (cab home, assign designated driver, don’t break the            law)

It’s important to ask questions rather than tell them what to do.

• What do you think?  Why do you think I care?  Why do you think a kid would want to do that?  Where should you be?  What are you doing now?  So, you have your child tell you by asking the questions and giving them the recognition that you care about their perspective.
• Then respond, with good answers.  Take your time – you are wise and have real experience and information to share.
• Do not yell at everything, they will not hear all of that noise, save your concerned voice for when they are not doing something unsafe.

If it’s a very difficult discussion, sit down and plan the discussion with your partner and make sure you are on the same page.

• Talk about what you want to talk about.  Be ready for every answer.  Role play with your partner asking the hard questions until they feel more comfortable and clear.  Switch up roles for parents (who is the rule person, who is not).

How to ask the right questions to get answers when you feel your child is not easy to talk to:

• Do not only have talk time when it is BIG.  Break it into pieces, if attention span is short.  Share that this is so important that it needs to happen. I care about you, what you do effects me, you scare me when that happens, letting your child know that some actions cost and really hurt parents is OK.